JERRY
Jerry is a fat cat. Jerry is Jerry. Everyone loves Jerry. Jerry has made no promise to love everyone back. Jerry loves his Carrot. Jerry might yell at you. We could not, in good conscience, keep Jerry from the world — so we made Jerry multidimensional, and now there is a Jerry for everyone.
- ▸ Adopt a Jerry.
- ▸ Let Jerry fight.
- ▸ Make sure Jerry has his Carrot. he will lose it. replace it. this is not optional.
- ▸ Upgrade Jerry.
- ▸ Make Jerry girthier.
- ▸ Everyone must Jerry.
It starts as a number going up. It does not stay that simple.
Jerbos accrue while the tab is open, while it's closed, while you sleep, and during at least one meeting you will later have to explain. Then it compounds: you reinvest into rate upgrades, equip him across five gear slots, stack hour-long multipliers, and feed traits that bend the whole economy. A bigger number buys a stronger Jerry, who clears a harder dimension, which resets the number bigger. The loop does not resolve and was never going to. You are, at this point, a participant.
💰 Compounding Jerbos
Idle income is just the seed. Upgrades, charm training, the Moldy Beanbag Throne, and stackable boosts multiply it — including while you're gone. The rate is whatever you've built it into, and it is never finished.
🎒 Gear, Traits & Boosts
Five equipment slots, four trainable traits, a shop of escalating upgrades, and timed multipliers like Galaxy Brain and Lucky Hour. Most of it is named like a health-code violation. All of it stacks.
🥊 The Cat Arena
Turn-based combat against cats — Brenda, Chad, Susan — who scale to match whatever Jerry has become. Learn to Belly Flop, equip the Cursed Laser Pointer, and read a stat block like it's the LSAT.
🌀 Infinite Dimensions
Collapse the dimension you've conquered and restart in a meaner one. Jerry keeps his levels, gear, and grudges; each collapse grants a permanent multiplier that stacks forever across every Jerry you will ever raise.
Same Jerry, five dimensions. He made a different set of mistakes in each.
The Catnip Connoisseur
STONER BUILDProcesses catnip at triple efficiency. Needs decay slowly. Generates Jerbos at a relaxed pace and intends to address the XP situation at a later, unspecified time.
Ramen Scholar
COLLEGE BUILDConverts cram sessions directly into XP. Operates at a permanent Jerbo deficit and a permanent sleep deficit. Structurally held together by ramen.
Gym Bro
SWOLE BUILDTraining costs half and returns double. Elevated tap output. Consumes food at a rate that is alarming, sustained, and non-negotiable.
Rise & Grind
HUSTLE BUILDMaximum Jerbos per second. Also maximum burnout per second. Happiness must be actively maintained or there will be consequences, plural.
Goblin Mode
FERAL BUILDExtreme tap output, extreme chaos output. A small animal operating entirely outside the social contract. Neglect him and you will find out what that means.
How to Jerry
Adopt. Choose a dimension, assign a name, and meet your Jerry. The process takes ten seconds and cannot be undone, emotionally.
Leave. Close the tab and attend to your responsibilities. Jerry accumulates Jerbos in your absence at the rate previously described as generous.
Return. Collect the Jerbos, win or lose a fight, absorb one personal insult, and repeat until the heat death of the universe or yours, whichever arrives first.
Everyone must Jerry.
He is one click away, in the dimension of your choosing, and has already formed an opinion about how long this is taking you.
▶ ADOPT A JERRY